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Monday, June 24, 2013

Stake Land Vampire Movie Apocalypse Review

I admit, I’m hooked on the whole Zombie Apocalypse thing and “Stake Land” is pretty much the exact same style end-of-world film except in this case it is a vampire apocalypse. I’ll be honest, I liked the film even though I could tear up each cliché implausible scenario, one piece at a time.  I’ll mercifully brief though.

Have you seen any Zombie film? Well, apparently vampires and zombies are exactly the same.   Mindless, flesh eating monsters who attack relentlessly.  This is no traditional count Dracula film.  Watch World War Z, 28 days later, etc, pay attention to the Zombies and you’ll know exactly how the vamps in this film act.

Like most apocalypse films, the world is dirty, run down and all the men in the film need a bath and a shave.  The women, look like a million bucks though with the exception of a virtually unrecognizable Kelly McGinness who plays a nun (in maybe the most interesting role in the film).  Stake Land reminds me too much of the “Book of Eli” characters which consisted entirely too much of cute, well groomed, girls and The Road Warrior looking men.

Mister (Nick Danici) saves a young boy, Martin (Connor Paolo) from a vampire attack.  Mister is an enigmatic man who is an expert vampire hunter. He trains the boy while driving a long journey to Canada where supposedly there is a place free of vampires.

Along the way they make friends, kill vamps, and face a gang of religious Aryan zealots who seem to pop up everywhere.  They are primitive cave man looking men, driving dilapidated trucks, but somehow they have the sophistication of an army and even more implausibly have a military helicopter where they drop live vampires from the sky to kill more humans.

Go figure.

The films ending is far too neat and clean. Disappointing but again, not horrible.  The acting is decent and I found Mister (Nick Danici) to be an enjoyable character.

I’d go on and bash it more but honestly, it really isn’t that bad.  Watch it if you dare

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